I'M SURE IT was intended to convey warm feelings. Family, sunshine, laughter in the backyard, grandma...and puppies! And food. Let's not forget the food. And to drink, why Pepsi, of course.
It was 1975. The movie Jaws was all the rage. I had read the book before seeing the movie, trying my hardest to appear bookish like my older sister. But my life, at 15 was fraught with both inner and outer conflicts. I couldn't seem to attain the achievements of my peers. My list of self-imposed goals and aspirations were out of reach and the inner critic was a blaring cacophony of judgmental missives. I was too fat, I didn't have a boyfriend... that was about it. Not exactly lofty goals but when you're a teenager, your priorities are, well, shortsighted. It's true I didn't have a boyfriend, but I was far from fat.
I was carrying a lot of baggage, even at this early age. And because I owned a season pass to the roller coaster of life, I was constantly up and down with no adult ears to help me sort it all out. I think this is the real tragedy--not having the wisdom of a caring adult at the ready to guide me and remind me that it was okay and that one day I'd understand.
But a survivor must do what she's got to do and despite the fact that caring adults weren't at the ready, I found solace. The Pepsi commercial spoke to me. All these years later, I remember it. Not every detail but the puppies and the joyful giggles of an innocent little boy. How it broke me. I wrote about it a few years ago while in the early stages of crafting my memoir.
A few weeks ago, thanks to the skill of Google and YouTube, I was able to locate it. The entire commercial. The first time I listened to it, I almost burst into tears with the bubbling of submerged emotions. Wow. Isn't it amazing what our computers are capable of?
Here it is. (It's only 59 seconds.) Do you remember it?