Similar Psychological Abuses

The latter part of my book REACHING: A Memoir details much of the cult-like experience I lived in for seven years during the 1990s. Although I've been distanced from that destructive lifestyle for over fifteen years now, I still find it interesting when I hear accounts from other cult victims--what they felt and believed; why they joined, why they stayed, why they left. The similarities are uncanny. 

I've been watching Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath on A&E. To learn more about the show and watch episodes, click on the link. In a nutshell, Leah and Mike Rinder, both former Scientologists, meet with other former members who tell their stories, exposing the abuses of Scientology. 

What I've discovered from watching is that there are many universal thought processes for cult members. Here are a few of them:

Members are responsible for the condition they are in. If something isn't going well, it's your fault. And you reluctantly believe you deserve the punishment you're receiving. And you try harder.

Persecution from non-members validates and strengthens the belief that the cult is right. Jesus was persecuted. Why shouldn't I be? Persecution just proves that the unenlightened world doesn't understand. 

There is an "Us" versus "Them" mentality. Members believe that those who leave the cult are enemies or at least lesser human beings. Outsiders who verbalize their distrust in your "church" are ignored and dismissed.

Members believe the cult's teachings because they are taught to not trust their own thoughts. Members have needs. Those needs will only be met by submitting to the teachings of the cult.

After leaving, it takes a long time to trust your own thoughts. For me it was ten years. And even now, one of those old tapes can start playing in my head. However, the more time that goes by, the easier it is to dismiss those thoughts, recognizing that it's all part of my old life and no longer valid.  

In my opinion, the psychological abuses of cults are not talked about nearly enough. I applaud Leah Remini for her efforts to expose them. 

What do you think?

Leah Remini and Scientology

I AM NOT A CELEBRITY-WATCHER. I'm still (like most of you) trying to figure out who the heck the Kardashians are and what relevance they have to...anything. However, because of my history I have a keen interest in news stories relating to cult involvement. 

In July, celebrity Leah Remini, the onscreen wife of Kevin James in the now syndicated sitcom, King Of Queens, made a very public decision to leave The Church of Scientology. From what (little) I've read, her decision, at least in part, stems from the intimidating remarks she received after repeatedly inquiring on the whereabouts of her good friend and fellow Scientologist, Shelly Miscavige. 

Shelly also happens to be the wife of the church's current leader, David Miscavige. 

One doesn't have to be a celebrity or Scientiologist or best friend to wonder where the heck Shelly has been for seven years. Remini filed a missing persons report with the LA police which (in my opinion) must have scared Mr. Miscavige a teensy bit because not long after, Shelly magically appeared and assuaged any hint of fowl play. The police closed the case. 

And the secrets continue. 

However, it's reported that Remini, who was raised in Scientology, plans to write a tell-all book. If you've ever seen Remini in action, the woman's got gumption. It will be a best seller. 

All cults have similar characteristics. For one thing, there is that exclusivity. Swathed in self-importance, it gets angry when it's challenged. Remini's sister Nicole Remini-Wiskow left Scientology in 2005 and has been an outspoken dissident. The Church used intimidation to break the bond between these sisters. Apparently it has failed. Hooray! 

But not without a few stabs. A church rep is quoted as responding to Remini's missing person's filing with, "This is just harassment. It's a publicity stunt cooked up by a small band of unemployed fanatics who live on the fringe of the Internet." 

The battle will wage on. But Remini is now free to do her own thinking. There is no greater feeling. 

How do you feel about this? Has religion impeded your ability to think for yourself or just the opposite?