WHAT DO YOU THINK? Are family secrets so sacred that they should stay that way or is it better to be out with it all and spill?
I'm thinking this question probably doesn't have an easy, cut and dried answer. Unless that answer is "Yes and No."
I mean, although it can be incredibly liberating to expose events that cause shame and pain, secret-keeping usually involves some element of fear, right? That "what if..." voice can be pretty noisy. What if I tell and people don't believe me? What if they judge me? What if so and so retaliates? Are these fears legitimate? Yes. Should that fear rule our decision about exposing a family secret? Maybe. It's a situation that each person must evaluate themselves.
I went through all of these (and more) "what if's" back in the day.
What if people don't believe me? Well, I guess they're entitled to whatever beliefs they want to hold. A person's point of view doesn't change the facts about my history. I wish it did.
What if they judge me? Well, it wouldn't be the first time. And I'm old enough now to know that people who judge harshly are usually very unhappy people themselves.
What if so and so retaliates? What if so and so writes a tell-all book about me? Well, the only person I wrote a tell-all book about is me and my goal wasn't to bash anyone. If someone feels the need to share a different side of things, I'd welcome an honest exchange. I am certainly not perfect.
I'm curious, if you're a writer, do you ever question your motives? If you write about your history and family dynamic, do you ever receive negative feedback? Have you ever regretted writing something? Do you prefer to keep your history in the past?
For me, the results of writing about my past have been exceedingly positive but I know this is not always the case. Have you had a negative experience?
Thank you to all of you who visited Kathy and Tina over the past two weeks. Aren't they the best? I love all of you, my online buddies.