tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post3911262307254084143..comments2023-12-15T23:45:54.605-08:00Comments on Subplots By Grace: Examining the F-Word GRACE PETERSONhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04520343332670354262noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-69154977171952225052012-09-17T21:31:55.494-07:002012-09-17T21:31:55.494-07:00Grace, I never heard this definition of 'forgi...Grace, I never heard this definition of 'forgiveness' before but I love it! Very much.<br /><br />A friend said to me that she doesn't do harm to those she doesn't forgive. What makes the distinction then? All a matter of perspective?Terry Gibsonhttp://www.mystoryourstory.org/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-47948339814473642072012-09-16T12:47:09.101-07:002012-09-16T12:47:09.101-07:00Great post, great comments. I really like: Mindy...Great post, great comments. I really like: Mindy, "And do we ever literally come to the "I've forgiven" stage? I think it's more of a gradual acceptance. Over time, we obsess over it less. Our daily life isn't consumed with the pain of if anymore. To say, I forgive, I believe isn't necessarily spoken words. It's, I'm living a good life in spite of it."<br />and Susan, "I find I need to understand to forgive. It was only later in life I came to realise how difficult my mother's life was and what a toxic marriage she had."<br /><br />I had to work at forgiving my mother for allowing me to be in such constant danger. It was a long painful process, forgiving her, and it took me taking a long hard look at her life and her viewpoint and realizing that she had really, truly, done the best job she could as a mother. Sadly it wasn't very good.<br /><br />On the other hand forgiving my sisters has been a completely different animal and I'm no where close to completing that! Oh well, I'm not dead yet. :-)Victoria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16014235737941054206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-74286322155410223352012-09-14T20:00:02.704-07:002012-09-14T20:00:02.704-07:00Very thoughtful and informative post. I find I nee...Very thoughtful and informative post. I find I need to understand to forgive. It was only later in life I came to realise how difficult my mother's life was and what a toxic marriage she had. This absolutely does not make what she did to her children O.K. but I do feel compassion for her. Unfortunately she passed away before I could tell her.<br />I've never wanted to hurt other people but I have a hard time differentiating between retailiating and standing up for myself. When nothing you did was right as a child I think you you never pick up that sense of what is appropriate behaviour towards you. I'm much better now. I love the phrase "this is unacceptable to me" and enjoy saying it.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12830177691014290662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-39423361193342168802012-09-13T10:48:51.735-07:002012-09-13T10:48:51.735-07:00I definitely agree with the time theory. It is a ...I definitely agree with the time theory. It is a progressive thing, isn't it? And do we ever literally come to the "I've forgiven" stage? I think it's more of a gradual acceptance. Over time, we obsess over it less. Our daily life isn't consumed with the pain of if anymore. To say, I forgive, I believe isn't necessarily spoken words. It's, I'm living a good life in spite of it.Mindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07247379600555185331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-67679491146122927172012-09-12T16:46:12.046-07:002012-09-12T16:46:12.046-07:00We were thinking alike Grace, I was going to write...We were thinking alike Grace, I was going to write about forgiveness myself today. You did such a beautiful job writing this post and I like the definition of not retaliating as well as that it is ok that forgiveness takes time. I think forgiveness is really healthy to oneself because holding a grudge (believe me I know) just brews bitterness in yourself. <br />My daughter was hurt badly by someone and I knew I forgave this person when I was able to pray for him. I prayed he would become healthy-minded and never hurt anyone else. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16288842067954888301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-90771394892541532332012-09-12T16:05:45.418-07:002012-09-12T16:05:45.418-07:00A very thoughtful post....I am still unable to for...A very thoughtful post....I am still unable to forgive soem people...or I should say I thought I had forgiven them, but then I let those feelings of anger and resentment bubble up and there it is again...so I ebb and flow with it...some of these are still from 20 years ago. I have read a lot on this and basically I do feel when we forgive we do not condone but we just relinquish the hold they and this feeling have on us...we no longer exert any energy and do not allow them to continue to have a hold on us. I still have not been able to move past some things yet. Too much anger.Donna@Gardens Eye Viewhttp://gardenseyeview.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632414454343958528.post-5848435551962835402012-09-12T14:15:58.889-07:002012-09-12T14:15:58.889-07:00Hi, Grace, wonderful post! I really like the defin...Hi, Grace, wonderful post! I really like the definition of not retaliating, not continuing the cycle of violence and harm. And I definitely believe that forgiveness is a process. For me, the cycle has been a long one and continues. I wish I could say that I have forgiven certain people who hurt me literally years ago, but I can't--yet. I'm still in the process, I guess.<br /><br />Thank you for a thought-provoking post!Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.com